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One Tight Whack

May 20, 2010

I will not categorize myself as a very patient human being, on the other hand wouldn’t say I am ferocious and would become violent on drop of a hat. So I lay somewhere in the middle; I wouldn’t be pissed off by a push in a crowded area, but would surely be turning red if somebody scratches my car. So with this introduction, let’s see what makes me go mad in anger and I wish to get down to business with slaps and punches:

  • Movie tickets are not a very cheap commodity, I give my hard earned (Ok, not hard earned) 150 bucks to watch a movie in Peace, add to that another 200 for the snacks in between. So when I get cozy in my chair and get ready to absorb the cinematic panorama, some things can really blow up my lid, namely:
    • Some funky Ass’s mobile starts ringing; on top of that he picks it up and starts talking.
    • These douche couples who of all the places in the world find a cinema hall the best place to chitchat their way across past, present and future.
    • Some dumbasses, who just can sit peacefully in their chair, instead would be moving restlessly kicking your chair and consequently the joy out of your movie.

Verdict: One Tight Whack

  • Some people are really learned individuals; they don’t have to show off their capabilities. Then there is this other variety, that put up this façade and they portray themselves as the most ‘Gyani’ individuals. These people don’t have any substance, but will have attitude as if they are descendents of ‘Einstein’. They have an opinion on each and everything, and nine out of ten times it will be bullshit. They will poke their nose everywhere, where it is not required. And somehow they don’t understand the indirect gestures to get lost and sometimes develop such a fat skin, that even direct insults are not enough to deter them.

Verdict: One Tight Whack

  • Cracking a joke and making people laugh is a noble gesture indeed. But then excess of anything isn’t good, right? Tell it to these ‘Wise crack joke all the time’ guys. These people don’t know how to give a simple answer to a simple question, for them everything in the world can be converted to dumb one liner or a stale wit. There jokes aren’t funny, no not at all, conversely they are so bad, that they can be used to extract revenge from people you don’t like. Still the jokers don’t understand that their so called jokes suck life out of people.

Verdict: One Tight Whack

  • What’s the deal with every deodorant ad i.e. featured on television, why do they portray that the sole reason for male species to put on deodorant is to attract the opposite sex? And men themselves have no sense of hygiene or they don’t like to be smelling good, without having an incentive of being projected as a hunk in front of females.

Verdict: One Tight Whack

  • This one is from all the worker class junta to the Hari Sadus of the world who have unrealistic expectations from their subordinates, whose vision of work is trading stocks all day long, who have no shame in calling their staff to work on weekends when they chill out at the 5 star bars, who are biased towards the sycophant ‘Yes Sir’ guys and ignore the real performers, who don’t know anything about the system but would brag as if they are experts etc. This list is endless but every subordinate in this world would really like to give a big one to their bosses. (Exceptions are there)

Verdict: One Tight Whack

There can be hundred other characters that deserve one tight one under their ears, but then if there is hell anywhere, it’s here. So they will get their due in time, and if they don’t there will be people lined greasing their hands for that one tight Whack!!

PS: Must say a very interesting thought from Blog Adda putting forward this Whacky contest . Was really fun to write this.


screw u

26 Comments leave one →
  1. May 26, 2010 9:33 pm

    Pretty true with those “wise cracks’ and these corporate bosses…
    they really deserve a whacky whack!!

  2. May 25, 2010 12:22 pm

    Enjoyed reading your post, funny and real:) If you are familiar with the Ad agency world – people think they must be f-u-n-n-y (one liner funny!) all the time!! One tight whack for those real bad pj’s!

    • May 25, 2010 12:31 pm

      Hey thanks a lot !! I know excessive funny ppl (or not so funny) really get on nerves..Thanks again for visiting.. 🙂

  3. May 25, 2010 8:09 am

    Excellento post sir ! interesting perspective on the underarm, i mean deo angle !

  4. May 24, 2010 9:23 pm

    I agree with you on almost all counts, but most of the times we have to be happy with whacking irritating ppl in our minds:)

    • May 24, 2010 9:37 pm

      Thanks Keerthana for visiting !! No whacking but i have given ppl like these verbal whacks a lot 🙂

  5. May 22, 2010 11:04 pm

    Lolz!!!.. Nice post… Do u know Axe was sued lately by a man who alleged that despite using the deo for 6 months he didn’t get a single date ???? ;p!

    • May 23, 2010 1:58 am

      Thanks a lot Sagarika !! Actually that was a hoax..Thanks for visiting my blog !!

  6. May 21, 2010 9:07 pm

    I agree that a guy with just a ‘good deo’ wouldn’t help attracting a women.

    All the best to you too for the contest.. 🙂

  7. May 21, 2010 5:21 pm

    hey rahul, lovely post! i am in 100% agreement with the bossy boss part! whack whack whack from me too… i remember how i eventually gave it back to this female ‘boss’ who ‘ruled’ the office and us all… as i finally answered back left right and centre, it was fun to watch people popping up from their cubicles in shock first and then giving me that ‘great… someone had to do it’ look. of course, i had decided to put in my papers before uttering the first sentence against her 😉 who wud want to work with such people!

    • May 21, 2010 5:43 pm

      Thanks a lot Annu !! Kudos to ur deed..The day I will submit my papers, even I will be settling accounts wid few ppl 😉 Thanks for droppin in !!

  8. May 21, 2010 12:22 pm

    He He! 😀
    That was quite humorous and funny. Had a whale of a time reading it.
    As you mentioned, we are surrounded by a bunch of numbskulls and we have no choice but to endure them and their stupidity.
    About visiting your blog regularly, of course I’ll be a regular visitor(and commenter). I love reading your posts and I often get to learn new words.
    Great going! 🙂

    • May 21, 2010 12:29 pm

      Hey Thanks Enigma !! I am glad i have a regular reader, you might subscribe to my blog, if you wish.
      And about learning new words, Thanks to my MBA prep days, Vocabulary was a major pain, but when i sit down to write nowadays, i know it was worth it. So to have good vocabulary, prepare for MBA 😉 Cheers

  9. May 21, 2010 10:59 am

    Smartass douchebags! Don’t you just feel like whacking them? Ohh, that’s right! You do!! 😛
    Good post. Enjoyed reading it. And thanks for your comments on mine 🙂
    All the best, again.

    • May 21, 2010 11:09 am

      Hey Thanks Mansi !! World is full of smartasses, you are right 😀 Thanks for droppin in !!

  10. May 21, 2010 9:10 am

    Really a nice Whacky post 😀

  11. May 21, 2010 6:52 am

    It was fun to read. And the best part was the presentation of that post. Well done! 🙂

  12. May 21, 2010 2:31 am

    Nice. 🙂

  13. Nishant Singh permalink
    May 20, 2010 11:03 pm

    and it was fun to read it too hahaha :)..

    The Hari Sadus deserve a topic of their own as there are so many of them on mother earth.!

    All of the best for the contest dude 😀

    • May 20, 2010 11:20 pm

      Thanks Man..I can write a book on Hari Sadus, u knw..But i get to whack sumone and hari sadu isn’t thr, doesn’t fit in..Thanks for the visit man !!

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